


French Fry Kisses

by messymiso



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Compliant, Dissociation, Dissociation as a coping mechanism, Fluff, Getting Together, Hurt/Comfort, Just a tiny bit of angst i promise this is fluff, Kageyama is surprisingly supportive, M/M, Panic Attacks, Tsukishima Kei Being Tsukishima Kei, Tsukishima Kei is Bad at Feelings, TsukkiYama Week 2020, Yamaguchi Day 2020, yamaguchi is oblivious
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-11
Updated: 2020-11-11
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:41:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27513991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/messymiso/pseuds/messymiso
Summary: “You really thought I was being serious?”The mocking laughter of the group of girls crowding him rings in his ears. It's loud, louder than it should be. The focus in his eyes slips from him, blurring his vision. His consciousness escapes to the back of his head. It’s comfortable here, like when he dunks his head under the warm water each time he takes a bath. Nothing can hurt him now with the world around him muted and soft.“Oh my god, can you believe that? So embarrassing.”Endurance is key.He knows that if he stays, endures, lets it happen, it will eventually stop. It always does.------Of numbness, misunderstandings, and heavily salted love confessions.
Relationships: Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Comments: 17
Kudos: 281
Collections: Personal Favourites (All Fandoms), TikTok's Recommendations (Haikyu!!)





	French Fry Kisses

“You really thought I was being serious?”

The mocking laughter of the group of girls crowding him rings in his ears. It's loud, louder than it should be. The focus in his eyes slips from him, blurring his vision.

His consciousness escapes to the back of his head. It’s comfortable here, like when he dunks his head under the warm water each time he takes a bath. Nothing can hurt him now with the world around him muted and soft.

“Oh my god, can you believe that? So embarrassing.”

Endurance is key.

He knows that if he stays, endures, lets it happen, it will eventually stop. It always does.

“You can’t even get Tsukishima to like you back, what makes you think any of us would _actually_ wanna go out with an ugly twink like you? You’re so pathetic, Yamaguchi.”

He doesn’t react. His mind has long gone foggy. That’s the best way to deal with it.

Numb is good.

Numb means no pain. No pain means no tears. No tears mean no embarrassment.

“Ugh, at least say something! You’re no fun when you’re like this.”

He hears one of the girls click her tongue in disapproval. Another voice mixes in. “C’mon, let’s dip before Tsukishima comes back. You guys owe me a can of coffee for this anyways, let’s get it before lunch is over.”

They leave, taking the cloud of giggles and mocking banter with them.

Endurance is key. It eventually stops. It always does.

Still - it doesn’t make it any easier.

Yamaguchi finds his seat on autopilot, goes through his afternoon classes on autopilot, gives his best at club practice on autopilot. He smiles brightly at his teammates, messing around with Noya and Shouyou in the clubroom and gossiping with Ennoshita on the sidelines during their practice game. No one would be able to tell that he was still hiding in the fuzzy cloud of numbness, retreated all the way to the back of his head like the coward he was.

No one, except Tsukishima. Of course he would notice. He always noticed.

When they walk home in silence that night, his best friend doesn’t stop at the door of his house. Wordlessly, he continues down the road next to Yamaguchi. He doesn’t say anything when they arrive at the gate, or when they kick off their shoes and drop their gym bags at the door of the empty house, or when they sit next to each other on his mattress and Yamaguchi starts sobbing quietly into Tsukishima’s shoulder when the numbness clouding him all day finally fades away and leaves nothing but the aching pain.

Tsukishima’s big hand is heavy on his waist, his thumb caressing him gently and it feels good and warm and slowly, breathing becomes easier again. They stay like this for a while, an awkward half embrace, until Yamaguchi’s head is clear again and he trusts himself enough to lift his head from the soft fabric without breaking back down immediately.

The fuzzy feeling his gone completely now, washed away by the smell of the Tsukishima family’s detergent and replaced by that familiar, sharp clarity that settles in after a good cry.

“French fries?”

It’s the first time Tsukishima opens his mouth since they left the gym that night and his voice is comforting in his ears. Yamaguchi sniffles and nods, a small smile beginning to tug on his lips.

Tsukishima knows how to get it back on his face. He always does.

“You got it,” he says quietly, and slowly peels himself away from him.

The arm around his waist disappears, but before Yamaguchi can feel upset about the loss of pressure and warmth, it’s replaced by his big, fuzzy blanket that drapes around his shoulders and bunches up around his hips. Through the remainder of the tears in his eyes he sees Tsukishima shifting around the room, pulling his laptop out from his desk and opening it up.

It’s only a few moments later when the familiar sound of his favourite cartoon’s opening credits blare through the room and the screen is set in front of him, the colourful animation already working to tug a smile on his face and with a small sigh he relaxes his body, sinking deeper into the blanket nest. It’s warm and soft and comfortable.

Tsukishima is already halfway out of his door before Yamaguchi can get his voice up enough without croaking like a frog. It is still a little hoarse, maybe a tiny bit wobbly, but at least loud enough to make the tall blond stop and turn back at him.

“Thanks, Tsukki.”

The only answer he gets is a barely noticeable tug on Tsukishima’s lips before he disappears down the hallway, but Yamaguchi knows that look very well and it floods him with waves of affection.

The kind, gentle warmth in his best friend’s amber eyes, the smile that lacks all arrogance and mockery, only pure, honest contentment.

That look was reserved for him only.

No one else got Tsukishima to soften his eyes like that and sometimes, that knowledge was the only thing keeping Yamaguchi from crumbling away.

Yes, his secret longing for his best friend was definitely unrequited and yes, it was incredibly painful, but as long as that soft expression would still be aimed at him, and him only, Yamaguchi could deal with it all.

No one would ever be able to understand him like Tsukishima did, and he had realised a long time ago that he didn’t want anyone else to, either.

It had to be him.

Tsukishima with his ice-cold stare, his brash insults, his dangerous intelligence.

Tsukishima with his iron ambition that he hides so well underneath faked indifference.

Tsukishima with his overwhelming fear of failure, crying silently into Yamaguchi’s lap over a missed block that cost the team a set.

Tsukishima with his attentive eyes that catch Yamaguchi’s mood drops better than anyone else and his presence that makes it all better again.

If Yamaguchi could have Tsukishima like that, he would be okay.

That’s what he was telling himself, anyway.

Cuddled up on his bed, indulged in his favourite childhood show and warm thoughts, he barely notices the time fly until the mattress shifts under the weight of his best friend returning again, steaming bowl of fries in his hand. He settles down next to him, just as close as before, but instead of wrapping an arm around Yamaguchi again, he holds the bowl out for them as they start munching on their salty dinner.

“I love that episode,” he comments between bites.

“Mmh, me too.”

That’s all they say, quietly enjoying the show, the food, and each other’s company until the bowl is empty and the episode’s end credits roll over the screen.

Of course, good things always come to an end. Because the moment Yamaguchi has been dreading all evening finally comes.

Tsukishima leans forward, pausing the cartoon before the next episode can start and sets down the empty dish before settling down again on his knees, facing Yamaguchi. They sit there for a moment, Yamaguchi avoiding the gaze of his best friend, but they both know he can’t do it forever.

“You know the rules.”

Tsukishima’s words are gentle yet firm. When Yamaguchi doesn’t react, he reaches out to place his fingers under his chin, lifting it up until their eyes meet again.

“Please, Yamaguchi. Tell me and we can go back to watching another episode. Easy peasy.”

He swallows down the clump in his throat at the coaxing, and finally nods, even if it’s hesitant. He can tell Tsukishima. He should.

“Yuki asked me out on a date as a joke. The pretty one with brown hair. I said yes and they laughed at me for believing it.”

Tsukishima scoffs in annoyance as soon as the words are out. Yamaguchi knows it isn’t directed at him in the slightest, but he still flinches away, just a little. The long fingers that still lingered on his face until then drop to the blanket and Tsukishima frowns.

“Sorry.”

“It’s okay Tsukki. It’s not your fault.”

He opens his mouth again to say something else but pauses, hesitates. His expression changes. There’s something underneath the anger and annoyance that Yamaguchi can’t quite place.

Then, before he can say anything else, it bursts out of Tsukishima.

“Why did you say yes?”

When Yamaguchi doesn’t answer immediately, he continues, more quietly. His eyes cast downwards at his words, but Yamaguchi can still feel the pain in them.

“You have me, don’t you?”

It breaks Yamaguchi’s heart into a million tiny pieces, seeing the most important person in his life like that. He finds the big hand still resting where it fell onto the blanket earlier and slips his own into it, fingers intertwined. It’s intimate, more intimate than they’ve probably ever been, but it feels right and neither of them pull away.

“Of course I have you, Tsukki, and you have me. You know that won’t ever change.”

He squeezes the bigger hand in his, but Tsukishima doesn’t squeeze back. Instead he looks back up again, the pain in his eyes hitting Yamaguchi right into his broken heart, trampling all over the pieces and pushing them into the raw flesh.

“Then why?”

Yamaguchi sighs and now it’s his turn to avoid eye contact again. He should know why.

He knew Tsukishima didn’t love him the same way he did, why would he when he could have anyone? Yamaguchi was happy the way they were. That didn’t mean he couldn’t try to numb the pain of unrequited love by fooling around with others.

“You know why,” he finally replies, quietly.

“I really don’t Yamaguchi. Please spell it out for me if it’s so obvious anyway. Why did you say yes?”

Yamaguchi sighs again. He shifts uncomfortably under the eyes of Tsukishima, but he can’t escape it. Might as well get it over with now.

“Because I can’t have you the way I can have them.”

At Tsukishima’s puzzled expression he chuckles bitterly. He didn’t know after all.

“And if they don’t even want me,” he continues, “How could I ever have you?”

Tsukishima doesn’t reply, still visibly processing what Yamaguchi said. He can almost see the gears turning underneath the blond curls until they stop, and finally, realisation falls over his face.

It’s not the good kind.

Tsukishima is angry.

“Yamaguchi you fucking _idiot_.”

Ouch.

He flinches back at the harsh insult, scrambling away from Tsukishima on instinct and hastily getting up from his blanket pile on the bed.

_I shouldn’t have said that I shouldn’t have said that I shouldn’t have said that-_

Yamaguchi puts on the probably worst fake smile he ever produced but he just can’t get himself to pull a convincing one. Standing awkwardly next to his bed he scratches his cheek and says “Sorry Tsukki, it’s getting late. It’s probably better if you go home now, we have -“

“Yamaguchi-”

“- school tomorrow and I don’t wanna keep you from getting rest, sorry to bother you when you -“

“Yamaguchi, shut up-“

“- when you could be studying or sleeping instead, so you should really go now Tsukki, I’ll catch you in class tomor-“

Before he can finish the mindless flow of words cascading out of him in the pathetic attempt to cover his hurt feelings, Tsukishima is in front of him, crossing the distance between them in the blink of an eye and before the proximity to him even registers in his brain, he’s being slammed against his closet by two big hands.

When his back hits the wood roughly, all of the air in his lungs is pressed out at once and he has to ground himself to catch his breath. Tsukishima is looming over him, doing the same.

He’s close, so close, and it wipes all thoughts from Yamaguchi’s brain.

“Will you _please_ just shut up Yamaguchi, I’m trying to talk to you and you’re not exactly making it easy for me.”

Tsukishima’s voice is sharp, and the commanding tone leaves Yamaguchi so stunned, he doesn’t trust himself to speak. So he just nods, wordlessly.

“Good.”

It’s incredibly hard to suppress the shiver that runs down his spine at the deep words. His best friend is so close, looking down at him with a piercing glare and the hands still holding him tightly against the door of his closet burn deep into his skin with the heat they radiate.

They’ve never been like this before. They’ve been close of course, countless of times, but never with _this_ kind tension between them, never with the weird mix of anger and frustration and pain boiling underneath their skins and never had it felt this electrifying before.

Yamaguchi can’t help but stare at his best friend like a deer caught in headlights.

“Tell me again, Yamaguchi - why can’t you have me the way you can have them? Who said that?”

That’s enough to make him tear his eyes away and cast them down to the floor in embarrassment. He really did have to spell it out for him, huh? He swallows heavily and collects himself, best as he can, before blurting out his embarrassing confession.

“B-because I just can’t! Because you can never like me the way I like you, okay? No one has to tell me that, I just know, Tsukki. And it’s okay, I can deal with it just fine!”

Tsukishima huffs out a breath, obviously annoyed. If he wasn’t being held down, Yamaguchi would have tried to scoot away again, but there was no room to move. So, in a desperate effort to protect himself from the inevitable rejection, he pinches his eyes shut and waits.

“You’re such a fucking idiot, Yamaguchi.”

Ah. There it was.

“Y-yeah. You said that already.”

The hands on him tighten their grip even more, pushing him even harder against the wood behind his back. Still, he doesn’t dare look up when he knows all that is waiting for him is disappointment, anger or disgust. And while he can just about keep the tears at bay for now, he knows that there is nothing stopping them from spilling over once he lifts his head.

“Yamaguchi please look at me.” Tsukishima’s voice is still commanding, but the tone softened.

Yamaguchi shakes his head.

“Please?”

Another shake, more violently this time.

But instead of leaving him alone, Tsukishima drops his hands and crouches down in front of him, giving him a perfect view of his face. Looking down at him now reveals the expression on his best friends face and it surprises him more than anything else.

Tsukishima is _smiling_.

Barely, but it is there. That same soft look from earlier is in his eyes again, the one that is only reserved for him, and him only.

_Why?_

Why isn’t he angry? Or grossed out? He has all right to be.

“Yamaguchi listen to me. You can have me. You can have me like you can have them. You can have me any way you want me. Fuck, I kind of thought you already knew that.”

Now it's Yamaguchi’s turn to process the words offered to him. _What?_

“What?” he repeats, out loud this time. Tsukishima chuckles.

“Idiot. Yamaguchi you idiot. Do you really think I make fries on a school night for anyone else? Do you really think I would ever _want_ to make fries on a school night for anyone else?”

Slowly, he shakes his head, the words still settling into him.

“Do you really think I’d be upset about anyone else agreeing to go on a stupid date with stupid Yuki?”

Once he realises what Tsukishima just said, Yamaguchi’s jaw drops, gaping in disbelief.

“Y-you-“ he stutters, looking for words. “You were upset?”

“Of course I was upset, idiot. I was trying so hard to figure out what got you to hide out in the back of your head all day only for it to be dumped by someone who definitely wouldn’t make you fries on a school night.”

Tsukishima pauses, sighing for a second before continuing, softer now. “I was jealous. Because I don’t ever want anyone else to do that for you. Just me. And maybe I just assumed you knew that already.”

Yamaguchi was pretty sure every single one of his braincells just fried because there was no way Tsukishima was jealous over him. Or never wanted anyone else to make fries for him on a school night.

What did he even mean by that? Was it a weird metaphor for liking him? It had to be a weird metaphor for liking him, right?

Fuck, it definitely was a weird metaphor for liking him.

Realisation hits him like a truck and his legs give out under him, making his body slide down the closet and collapsing into itself right across of Tsukishima. Hands are on him immediately, keeping him steady at his waist and stopping him from falling over completely.

“Careful Yamaguchi. I thought you already fell for me ages ago.”

The corny line is what finally tips him over.

They stare at each other for a moment but when the first huff of air escapes his lips, Yamaguchi knows he is done for. Giggle after giggle breaches through him and before he knows it, he is wheezing with laughter, clutching his stomach and gasping for air. He feels like a maniac.

“Y-you –“ His own laugh interrupts him and it takes him a few more shaky breaths to get the rest of the sentence out. “Y-you like me back.”

“Of course I like you back, Yamaguchi. You fucking idiot. I really thought you knew that already.”

Tsukishima tries really hard to look annoyed at him, but the grin is imminent on his face.

Yamaguchi still can’t believe it.

“You really like me back?” He just has to make sure it’s not a joke.

“Yes, I really like you back.”

“Really, really?”

“Really, really.”

“Really, really, really?”

“Really, really, really.”

“Really, really, really, really?”

Instead of replying, Tsukishima closes the distance between them in the blink of an eye and captures his lips in a kiss. Yamaguchi freezes in place at the unfamiliar sensation, but it doesn’t take long for him to melt right into the touch and then he’s kissing him back, slowly and carefully. It’s warm and soft and clumsy and a little salty, but it’s everything he ever wanted.

It feels right.

Tsukishima grips his waist tighter, pulling him towards his chest and deepening the kiss in one fluid motion that knocks Yamaguchi off his balance. His hands grasp onto Tsukishima’s shirt in a desperate attempt not to fall over.  
The slow, timid pace of their kiss becomes more frantic as they move their lips together faster and faster and faster, until they have to break apart for air.

For a moment they just sit there, entangled into each other, panting in short breaths. Honey eyes look at him with so much intensity that it almost knocks Yamaguchi over again, but in that moment, Yamaguchi just knows. He knows that it’s not a joke. He knows that it’s real, and Tsukishima likes him back and they just kissed.

The feeling that floods him at the realisation is so overwhelming that he buries his face in Tsukishima’s shoulder and squeals, the sound barely muffled by the fabric.

He can feel the low chuckle that rumbles through Tsukishima at his child-like reaction, but the hands on him stroke his back reassuringly. “Yeah. Me too.”

They stay like that for a while, intertwined on the floor in a clumsy embrace until Tsukishima breaks the silence.

“I’m sorry I didn’t say anything earlier.”

Yamaguchi chuckles quietly without lifting his head up from the comfortable spot in the crook of Tsukishima’s neck.

“Yeah, it would’ve probably saved us a lot of trouble.” He smiles into the fabric. “But hey, at least I get to prove Yuki wrong now.”

Tsukishima cocks his head in confusion. “Why, what did she say?”

He chuckles again and lifts his head up to face him before putting on his best impression of an annoying girl voice.

“ _You can’t even get Tsukishima to like you back, what makes you think any of us would actually wanna go out with an ugly twink like you?_ ” He laughs at his own impression. “Or something along those lines. It’s so dumb. I don’t even know if I would actually qualify as a twink. I think I’m too tall. And too Asian.” He shrugs. “But she was wrong because this ugly maybe-twink,” he points at himself proudly, “ _did_ get you to like him back so who’s the real loser here, huh?”

Amusement plays on Tsukishima’s lips at his statement.

“Bold of you to assume you had to _get_ me to like you back. As if simply being a kind, smart, hardworking and _beautiful_ twink – if you should qualify for it – wasn’t already enough to convince me.”

Yamaguchi could practically feel his face flush dark red at the admission and he scrambles to hide his face in embarrassment. “T-tsukki you can’t just – you can’t just say things like that, oh my god.”

Tsukishima cocks his head to the side and stares at him with a wide grin, confidence glistening in his amber eyes. “Why not? Can’t I compliment my boyfriend?”

Yamaguchi just stares at him while the word’s meaning makes its way to his brain.

“B-boyfriend?”

That’s all he manages to get out and Tsukishima laughs at him.

“Yes Tadashi. Boyfriend.” He raises an eyebrow. ”If you’ll have me, that is.”

This time, Yamaguchi wastes no time to reply.

“Of course! Of course I’ll have you, Tsukki!”

His now-boyfriend nods at the answer, visibly pleased. “Good, because I really can’t handle any more misunderstandings.” His expression changes slightly and he continues, “I really can’t wait for tomorrow.”

An evil smile creeps up on Tsukishima’s face and Yamaguchi knows that expression. He’s planning something petty.

“Tsukki, what are you talking about?”

“I’m going to get back at that dumb girl for making you miserable all day. What do you think, mayonnaise in her shoes? Or –“ An idea flashes through his head and his grin deepens.

”Oh I know. I’ll give her a taste of her own medicine. Yamaguchi, can you reach my phone?”

“Tsukki what are you-“

“Please, I need to make a call.”

Yamaguchi gives up and stretches his lanky arms to reach for Tsukishima’s phone still laying on the mattress. As soon as he gets his hands on it, he scrolls through his contacts hastily and finally lands on Kageyama.

_What was he thinking?_

It only takes a few rings until their teammate picks up.

“What the fuck do you want Tsukishima, do you know how late it is?”

Tsukishima’s expression sours, as it usually does when he speaks to Kageyama. He pulls a face.

“My humble apologies for disturbing your Highness. I need a favour.”

_A favour?_

“And why the fuck would I do that for _you_?” Kageyama replies from the other side of the line.

“You won’t do it for me, but you _will_ do it for my boyfriend.”

The shit eating grin is back on his face as he listens to Kageyama choke on whatever he was going to say. It takes their setter a few moments to collect himself enough to continue their conversation, but after hearing what Tsukishima has to say, he agrees in an instant.

And that’s how the next day Karasuno’s very own beauty queen Yuki gets publicly humiliated by everyone’s heartthrob Kageyama, using the exact same scheme she had pulled on Yamaguchi just the day before.

“She should have totally seen that coming,” Kageyama mutters after dumping her unceremoniously in the courtyard and Yamaguchi laughs and laughs and laughs.

He is happy.

When they leave practice that night, Kageyama, Hinata and Yachi tag along on their way home and they all squeeze into Yamaguchi’s room to munch on french fries, watch horrible movies and laugh about the stupid face Yuki pulled earlier.

Tsukishima is right by his side all night, and once they’re alone, they kiss and kiss and kiss until there is no salt left on their lips.

Yesterday, Yamaguchi was sure that he would be okay if he could just have Tsukishima as his best friend.

Well - he changed his mind.

This is so much better. And he wouldn’t have it any other way.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! I'm Miso and this is my first Haikyuu fic! I hope you enjoyed.
> 
> I've had this sitting in my drafts for a little while now but since it's Yamaguchi day today, I thought it was finally time to post it. I'm honestly just a slut for the Tsukki-is-only-soft-for-one-Yamaguchi-trope and I'm itching to write more of it. I'm also currently working on a massive tsukkiyama yakuza AU so if you're into that stuff, feel free to stick around! 
> 
> Thanks for reading!!!!!!


End file.
